How To Save A Life
by SomethingOutOfNothing
Summary: The Doctor and Amy are cornered and about to be killed, what's the one thing that could save their lives? Written for a challenge on the TARDIS.


**A/N- written for a challenge on the TARDIS! The challenge was to use the joke I was given to make an April Fools Day joke. My joke was: *clears throat* What bee does well in school? Answer- The spelling bee. Does anyone else find it funny? No? Just me then…**

**Disclaimer- I don't own Doctor Who, if I did, do you think I'd be begging my parents for money? Don't think so. :)**

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Okay. So they were stuck. Really, really stuck. As in Rock meet Hard Place, Frying Pan meet Fire. That kind of stuck. They needed a distraction, and fast or else the massive guard that was backing them into a corner would kill them then and there. The Doctor needed to think fast, he combed through his memories of just hours earlier, when they had all been nice and friendly, to try and find the guards weakness. "That's it!" The Doctor yelled, making Amy jump next to him slightly.

"What's it, Doctor?" Amy asked quietly, not taking her eyes off of the guard.

"Jokes! Amy, tell the nice guard here as many jokes as you can think of!" The Doctor said smiling, despite the situation.

"Why?" Amy asked, confused. She knew the Doctor's mind seemed to work in leaps and bounds, but that was just, well, she didn't really know what it was, but without an explanation, she wasn't about to believe telling the angry guard a joke or two would save her from being sliced and diced.

"Because it may save your life." Came the Doctor's simple reply, he honestly didn't know if it was going to work or not, he hoped it did, after all, the way he was going wouldn't be a very dignified way for a Time Lord to die.

Amy sighed; did she have a better idea? No. She wasn't sure if this actually counted as an idea, or the Doctor making a final attempt to save them. "Fine!" Amy turned to the guard, she tried to think of a joke to tell, but her mind went blank, "ah," She could only think of some dirty jokes that the aliens probably wouldn't understand, and some really bad ones. Amy decided on the really bad ones rather than the dirty ones. "What did the ocean say to the other ocean?" Amy could feel the wall they had been backing towards against her back; she _really _hoped the Doctor was right about the whole jokes thing.

"What?" The Doctor asked in a rushed voice, he was starting to worry too.

"Nothing, they just waved." Amy said, watching the guard closely. Not even a twitch of the mouth.

"Is that the best you've got Pond?" The Doctor asked frantically, he couldn't believe it; he was going to die because neither him nor Amy could tell a decent joke. That really gives a whole new meaning to _'you couldn't tell a funny joke to save your life,'_ he thought.

"Well, I'm sorry, I must have left my joke book back in the TARDIS. I don't see you making him wet himself with laughter!" Amy shot back sarcastically. The guard was so close now; she could see the patch of food that the Doctor had thrown at him as they had tried to get away on his uniform.

"Think, think, think!" The Doctor said to himself, hitting his head with the palm of his hand. "Ha! I got it! What bee does well in school?" He really hoped this one worked, it was their last chance.

"What?" Amy asked, her heart racing, as the guard's shadow was cast over her.

"The spelling bee!" The Time Lord shouted. The guard froze, then everything happened slowly, one side of his mouth twitched, then the other side, a rumbling sound came from him, and soon enough, he was doubled over with laughter. "Well, that's nice, because I honestly didn't think that would work." The Doctor said watching the guard, that just seconds ago, was about to kill them both.

"That wasn't even funny." Amy stated. The Doctor had to agree; it was one of the worst jokes he had ever told in his nine hundred and seven years.

"Oh, well, lets get out of here before he," The Doctor pointed to the guard, "figures that out."

The Doctor and Amy were walking away, when the Doctor heard the guard calling him. Did he just leave him? No, he couldn't do that. So back to the guard the Doctor walked, but not before picking up the weapon that had almost killed him and Amy. "Yes?" he asked standing over the still laughing guard.

The guard made a gesture for the Doctor to bend down to his level, and when he did, he whispered in the Doctor's ear, "April Fools. As you'd say Doctor- Gotcha!" The Doctor looked up to see Amy laughing so hard she had tears in her eyes, and straight away he knew what had happened.

"Did you set me up Pond?" Amy just nodded and kept laughing.

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**What did you think? Review people, because I love them! :D**


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